Thursday, May 8, 2014

Long Awaited

Hello again. 
This post has been brewing for several months. 

Anna Joy has been gone for 2 years and 5 months. That's how old she would be now.  Surreal. 

Since her birth & passing, we have experienced 2 miscarriages and came quite close to adopting a local baby girl.

Today, we are thrilled to announce that we are expecting a baby boy early August! We found out just a few days before Anna's 2nd birthday. I waited this long to post about it because I wanted to get through the genetic screening, 20 week ultrasound, and the echocardiogram  (just last week). Although way down deep my heart knew he would be fine, I can officially share that he looks very healthy. The cardiologist said he has a perfect heart, and it looks beautiful. Thank God!

After sweet Anna left us for heaven, I felt that I wasn't ready to give up on having another biological child. I would surrender my desires to the Lord, but at the same time be completely honest with Him in that I wanted to carry another baby. I love Isaac and Anna so very much. I just didn't feel that we were "done" yet. 

So. We are 6 months along, and super excited to meet this little guy (no name decided on yet)... feeling overwhelmed by the Lord's continuing gifts. I'm cherishing each movement, each ultrasound image. Another miracle to love.





As I look back at the events we've experienced since Anna, I don't feel sad because of them now. I feel amazed. Amazed at God's faithfulness in carrying us. He still hasn't let go. Through it all, we still ache for our daughter. Through it all, we still HOPE in His goodness and grace - knowing He will work everything into something good and beautiful. And He is. Not because the tests are saying our next baby is healthy. Not because He's given us another child at all. Because no matter what life presents, He is constant. The pains and questions continue to point us to His eternal plan of an indescribable love relationship with Him. He is ever reaching for us, and that gives life purpose. 

This is the verse I started praying and believing for myself Thanksgiving 2012...
"The Lord will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; he will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like a garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing." Isaiah 51:3

The title of our blog is still fitting. Hope brings joy. Not happiness in circumstances. It is peace in the midst of pain and trials - the unexplainable underlying sense of purpose as we ride the parallel tracks of smiles and tears. 

Tomorrow is unknown. Health, relationships, events, finances... We aren't in control. I'm thankful I didn't know what my timeline would look like three years ago. And I'm glad I don't know what the next three years will bring. I do know that God is already there, and I can rest today knowing that He sees the eternal picture of my life... all the while weaving His beauty into every single breath that makes up my story. May this story be more about Him than me. It's all grace. The good and the bad. Because it can point us to His heart if we are willing to look.

Please pray for us as we prepare for our next child to join us. There are so many emotions we experience from day to day. Always missing Anna Joy, always deeply thankful for Isaac, always overwhelmingly excited to meet baby boy... always hoping in God's faithfulness. We expect this baby will bring some healing, but also some refreshed grief over all we missed with Anna. But we know it's still worth it. Love always hopes.


16 comments:

  1. OH MY GRACIOUS! Huzzah!!! I'm so happy for you and your family!!! *HUGS YOU* Praise God for His gifts! =D

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  2. I can't tell you how much this means to hear this great news. I am so very happy for you. You both have been so amazing, sharing your hearts and your transparency. My heart has ached and I have cried for you. Now, I am rejoicing with you! God Bless you!

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  3. Praise God ... such a beautiful post about the beauty, comfort and love of our Heavenly Father, through it all. Sending blessings and may the peace of the Lord flood you and your precious family xxx

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  4. I have goosebumps I'm so happy for you guys. You don't know me but I've been following your story. May God bless and keep you all safe in His arms.

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  5. So happy for you. So, so happy and thankful.

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  6. Oh, I'm so excited for you! I still think about you and your sweet family often. And, you look beautiful Alissa!

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  7. I am so happy for your family. May God continue to bring you peace and joy.

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  8. So happy for your family, I have been praying this day would come for you! Love, prayers, and peace to all of you...

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  9. Beautiful and moving. Thank you for sharing your journey. All for His glory, right? The good and the bad! I love that He is seeking us out and wanting to show us Himself throughout every part of our lives. I love that you speak truth through your tears. You bless me so much. Praying for you as you continue on your journey! Love Kathy

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  10. Beyond thrilled for you. I decided to check your blog today in hopes I'd read this type of blog content! I've prayed for your hearts and your family for these past 2 yrs. I can't imagine all the emotions you have faced, are facing and will face, but I do know the God who walks with you through them all. So happy for you.

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  11. I am so happy for all of you and I love that verse in Isaiah that would be a great name for your new little bundle of joy. Hugs to all

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  12. You don't know me but I have checked in you and followed your story from the beginning. I too, lost a baby when he was four months old. We did not know until he was born that he had so many issues and wouldn't live, but the pain we went through was horrific. We spent thousands on genetic testing to see if it would happen again, as Zachary was our first child. Nothing came of the testing.

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  13. We prayed and hoped and got pregnant with our second child who was born healthy and we celebrated his fifth 5th bday today. I know the anxiety of being pregnant again after losing a baby and been checking in on you here, you mentioned the baby was due in early August, today is the 7th. Have you had your baby yet? Prayers that everything is wonderful. We also went on in 2012 to have a healthy baby girl...hoping the same peace, love, healing for you and your husband. Take care, Erin Meridian, ID

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