Hello. This is Matt. Again. I guess my wife doesn't want to talk with you guys anymore. Either that, or she has a few other things on her mind. She did, after all, push a rather large object out of her body just yesterday. And that rather large object ended up having open-heart surgery, so can you blame her? I think not.
Yes, I'm sitting here at the hospital, next to my beautiful daughters little bed. It's almost 10 pm, and I'm the last of the vigilantes to stay here. All others have retired to other buildings around the greater Puget Sound area for some much needed rest. Please - don't feel sorry for poor little ol lonely me. I am far from lonely. How could I be? I am accompanied by my precious little daughter, baby Anna Joy. She is laying (or is it lying? I can never remember - even after all of those English classes I took...) there, sleeping peacefully and comfortably. Is there anything more precious than a sleeping baby?
I submit that there is. A sleeping baby who had open-heart surgery one day ago and is sleeping her way to health. That is more precious. And I wager that all of you who have gone through similar situations can agree. Of course, there is always the fear that something's not right, that something's going to go wrong, and something bad is going to happen. But as I sit here, in the relative peaceful quiet of the ICU after-hours, I can believe that all is okay with our little baby.
I just watched two nurses roll Anna a little bit to change her position. They disconnected one of her tubes for a few seconds to make the move easier and to protect the tubes from kinking up. The alarms began to go off and within seconds other members of the team came into Anna's room to make sure everything was okay. How many times have I been in a hospital room that some sort of alarm is going off and everyone just ignores it? Too many to count. And one little alarm goes off in Anna's room and several people jump? How cool is that?
Well, I haven't been in that many hospital rooms...
Going back to the people who have lived our experience before - you all know how easy it is to fear, don't you? For those of you who haven't lived it, I'm sure you can imagine. However, I'm sorry to say you probably can't understand. But thanks for trying anyway. (Wow, that was kinda harsh, wasn't it? Sorry...). Just this morning I was in bed, in that dreamy in-between stage when you're not really awake or asleep. And I thought something like "is she going to alright? are we going to be able to take her home? will Isaac get to be a big brother to Anna?" Then the power of the prayers of the saints kicked in. I could almost hear Jesus whisper in my ear "I am with you." Then my mind gratefully sunk back into the blissful forgetfulness of sleep. And I rested in the arms of my Lord for a little bit longer, knowing without a shadow of a doubt that He held my little girl in his very capable hands.
Yes, I'm getting a little sappy tonight. Blame it on the lack of sleep (or should I say the "fitfulness of trying to sleep but not really sleeping well because of...), but it's there. Or maybe it's because I confiscated my wife's laptop so she wouldn't be tempted to get on it and stay up way too late and her sentimentality is rubbing off on me as I write. By the way, the reason I'm all alone at the hospital is because visiting hours for anyone who is not a parent/caregiver is over at 8 pm, so all of our fellow bedside sitters went home. And Alissa went back to the hotel to sleep there, staying the night with her mom and dad. I hope they all sleep well and rest in the arms of our Lord too.
Now, on to more non-sappy stuff. It's been great reading all of the comments that have been posted on the blog. And for all of you doubting-Thomaser's: yes, I have read every single one, even the ones from Argentina, Africa, Finland and all of the other crazy countries that are represented. By the way - what?!?! Who are all of you and why do you care?!?!
Okay - I know some of you, like my old Buddy from high school youth group, my roommate from college, a former girlfriend-turned-good-friend and the old family friend-turned-co-worker at Garts. I know why you and the others we know care, but the ones who don't know us? Well - while I may not understand why you are here reading this post, I'm grateful. Reading all of the posts helps me fill my tank up for the day. I can use all of the positive reinforcement I can get, and your words of encouragement go a long way for me.
Somehow, Anna's story has reached far and wide. And gauging from all of your comments, apparently her life has impacted a lot of you in a very good way. Who woulda thought, huh?
So, again, thank you. I did warn you I would say that again, didn't I? While I would like to imagine that you are all reading this blog because you can't take your eyes away from the melodious, poetic, mesmerizing words of my writing, I know that God has placed Anna's story into your heart. Why? I don't know. But maybe, just maybe, God is trying to show His power is still at work in the world today. We still don't know the ultimate outcome of Anna's story and life, but we know that God is present - not just in, but IN - her story.
I'm thinking this post is getting a little off track and helter-skelter. So I think I'll take a little of that advise a lot of you have been giving me: I'm gonna go get some sleep and rest. Hopefully I won't hear your texts tomorrow morning, and I can sleep until 9 or so.
Good night and God bless.
By the way, Anna is doing great. At least that's how I am interpreting what the doctors and nurses and fellows (thanks for the explanation in that comment!!!) are telling me. Maybe I'll get philosophical again on my next post, and go into that thought a little bit more...